I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize