i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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