We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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