My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize