We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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