In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official drugs can't kill me
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize