well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
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He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
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Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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