this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
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I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
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I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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