This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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