i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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