even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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