someone get that fucking seahorse.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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