the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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