low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize