Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize