i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize