I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
you made out with another girl for some wings
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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