why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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