Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
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Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
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The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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