U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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