Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
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Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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