Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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