yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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