I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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