nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
