Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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