I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize