new low.... made out with someone while peeing
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize