Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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