Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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