You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize