I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize