He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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