i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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