we have pet lesbian snakes
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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