My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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