Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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