somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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