Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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