Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize