I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We left the knife in your bed.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
my liver is dry heaving
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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