thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
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Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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