oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I want a musical about memes.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize