Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize