I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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