I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
i think my cat just said my name.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize