yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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