Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
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the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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