There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize