I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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